Life, life and life

Dear me, I’m surprise that you’re just so damn awkward now. What in the actual world happen to you?

HEllo blog, I just finish my finals!! Hoo yeah so today out of boredom, (more like guilt) I went to my primary school. Holy mackerel how did I end up like that.

So as soon as I step in my primary school gate I have already regret going there. Yes, regret. I can’t find my friend anywhere and I started panicking like what am I suppose to do; should I walk around; why am I here again and all those stuff. But then I found her yeayyy only to find her with her old classmates booo ok that’s mean of me but like yeah. Since I don’t want to disturb my friend and her classmates (I was hoping for the two of us to walk around but I tots didn’t expect like a lot of people came so like damn gurl expectations vs reality) I went walking alone 😥

I wanted to meet one of the teach I’m close to cuz like that’s the other reason I came back and she’s my fave teach and all BUT I CAN’T FIND THE SCHOOL’S OFFICE SMH. So I went to the canteen and I was in a state of despair like fuck there’s no one, i’m lonely, why did i even come back, i hate people THE ANXIETY PEOPLE and then guess what I saw my ex-classmates there smh my day is already so ruined. I try to avoid my ex-classmates cuz I fucking hate them like around 38 people in my class, I only get along with 5 and by get along I actually meant my friends but fuck that I can’t call em friends anymore since everyone is a fucking asshole we lost contact and they don’t bother to like call me up or smtg smh!!1! also cuz I didn’t go to the last gathering they did.

I just stand in front of the canteen thinking on what I did wrong in my life WHEN THE THREE EX-CLASSMATES OF MINE WALK TO ME. and I was like fuck fuck mayday mayday retreat but hey they won’t know me aight?? I WAS WRONG .

They were like “HEY! You are ___ right??” and I was literally speechless ideky it’s like I can’t speak because was I too sh00k or I couldn’t understand what they say cuz like chinese slang was too strong (fyi, I study in a chinese school yes i do) or was it because idek what’s happening.

Then they were like “um hey can you like still speak chinese or do you forgot or smtg?” and I’m like “yeah, *tries speaking chinese* I can still speak chinese!” (bitch I can cuz like I still practice it at home and write essays and stuff) so they were “you know we were talking about you just now like man we haven’t seen ___ in so long where is she now?? and then you walk past and like hey isn’t that ___? Is it really her? OMG it looks like her but it also doesn’t let’s just walk there AND IT WAS YOU!!!1!” oh hi I didn’t realize you guys rmb me cuz like haha you didn’t add me in the class group chat you barely even remember a malay once existed in your classroom and damn fuck you never rmb me you fucking snakes.

and then they drag me around the school. That’s when I start hate on everything like I WAS MUTE. I literally didn’t talk and I barely open my mouth. I mean I rarely talk much but like I use to be one of the loudest in my class and when I was around my ex-classmates and didn’t utter a word, I feel like I’ve lost myself. The old me. I was surprise.

One of them accompany me to the washroom cuz I need to change since I still have school that afternoon but I guess she gave up on me cuz I didn’t talk and she was like oh you’re going on later? ok I’ll just leave. haha shad laifu.

There are a few of my ex-classmates that I want to meet again like the ones super duper close to me but we lost contact haha sad haha so much for never lose contact haha so much for I’ll always text you haha fuck you guys haha.

I don’t even know why I’m ranting here but like today was a stressful day and I just want to let it out and since my blog is empty and dusty I thought it might me a good idea 🙂

I miss the old me, that’s the only thing I want out of the whole long-ass blog post. I want the old me. The happy me, the loud me. The trouble me, the me who’s never afraid of anything. The me who befriends anyone no matter from what rank of class you are. The me who I will be proud to call myself. Yeah, that’s what I want. That’s all I guess lol I would start writing again and hopefully get all the fanfics ideas out lmao see you soon!

Also, I hate my ex-classmates cuz this one time at a gathering I bumped into an old friend from the same school as all of us but in another class and my ex-classmates assume I was in the same class as the said old friend bitch you wot I have been studying for 5 fucking years with you guys and you just assume I missed a year with you guys cuz I befriend someone from a lower class bitch you did not. Stop being stereotypical. Just cuz I’m in the first class doesn’t mean I’m unfriendly enough like you guys who won’t even make friends with your classmates smh don’t make me expose you guys and your 1001 sins bitches and snakes I could fucking do that. I friend with everyone including peeps from lower classes (‘cept when I enter high school cuz like lower class peeps scares me like they think they hot be sending nudes to the brother school like bitch no you weight a ton you not pretty you petty also with a nasty attitude you snakes) that’s all ok bye lmfao.

^^;

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