Growing up is hard apparently, especially when its getting harder for you to express your feelings.
When you were young, a simple child, you were always amazed by all the little things in life. You questioned everything. And you say all those words that when you grow older and think about it again you might feel embarrassed.
When you’re in your teen phase, you’re someone who is hard to express your feelings, but well that might depends on how you spent your childhood. Saying things like ‘thank you’, ‘you’re welcome’ and ‘i love you’ sometimes bothers you and you can’t help to feel weirded out by saying these things. And this situation might continue as you live adulthood.
I am a young female teenager, really shy. And what bothers me the most is expressing my feelings. In my family I guess the ones who have the hard times to express their feelings is most probably me, my dad and maybe my mom. My dad is quite the friendly guy I guess, he make conversation with almost everybody. My mom is really shy and I guess I got her trait.
But what I want to talk today isn’t really about my family but more like expressing one’s feelings. My dad could be the main. In pictures my dad rarely smiles and his face looks really strict and uptight if he didn’t. I have never seen my dad cry in my whole life. Even if I did it could easily be count by fingers.
I think to compare I’m more closer to my dad than my mom but it might seem like I’m prone to my mom but I don’t know my dad is like my hero? haha, my dad loves the family. That’s obvious, he tries his best so that me and my brother got all the love and attention we need.
I love my parents so much that when they do something that they I’ve never do in front of me, I’ll feel scared. Like that time when my grandfather suddenly acts different around me and I had a bad feeling and I start feeling scared. I’m scared of losing someone I love, my family, close relatives, best friends.
So some times when someone show me an act of kindness, affection or something different from the usual them I’ll capture the moment because it feels like if I look away, everything will disappear from sight.
Sent and received,
I have received your love.