I miss my support system, but she’s not here with me right now and it’s never been sadder.
Me and my group of friends have our ups and downs but we always somehow happen to have a big fight each year. This year too and it’s been dragging for a long time. I think it started since the starting of the year, issues after issues being jumped. Right now everyone’s pointing fingers and drifting apart.
And nothing bothers me as much as us having fights.
There’s me and there’s my closest friend in our group. Weirdly enough, we barely interact with each other during our first year as friends but we somehow click. The group knows that me and this friend is the closest, she’s my mate (not the werewolf AU kind lol) and I’m probably the most sad when she moved and change schools. A lot of my friends and even acquaintances has noted my more subdue and quiet behavior after she changed school. And now the loneliness is more visible when our group of friends are arguing.
Both of us always sits down and discuss things that happens between our group. It’s fun remembering it really, I remember when we quietly whispers among ourselves in class about weird things, empty talks and not getting caught by the teacher (ah good days..).
But yeah, the two of us are the rational duo of the group, if our group is your local residential family, I would say we’re the parent (she’s the mom and I’m the dad because I like to goof around while she’s strict lol). And we discuss how to pull our group back together without hurting each other’s feelings.
She changed school, we still talk but with time and studies in our heads it gets difficult (also the fact that her parents have something against us doesn’t help). Now I’m the only rational one, the thin rope desperately pulling the group together but it gets tiring. Tiring because I have to carry the burden all by myself, with no one helping me or someone I could lean onto. Tiring because despite all my efforts I can still see our friendship crumbling before my eyes.
If she was here with me right now, I know she could pull her magic and save us all.
I miss her and I really wished that she didn’t move or anything. Can’t bother her right now because she’s sick but really, I miss her. I wish I’m capable of doing something more for the group or she could help me but I kinda could foresee the consequences.
Sigh, I want my support system.